Along the river in Daejeon

Motives in Ministering the Needy and the Poor

In 1985, when I first heard the call of God for the ministry, I was working in a pastor's house as his domestic helper.  I worked morning and evening so that I could attend school during the day time (was preparing for SLC).  I had one pair of pants given by the pastor and I wore them whole week no matter how dirty they were; I only washed them in weekends.  In the summer of 1986 there was a student camp held in Putalisadak Church in Kathmandu, and the pastor of Calvary Church in Dhangadi (I didn't know there existed another church in that town) offered to pay for me if I was interested to join the camp.  But I had no wearable shirt (all the while having parents who had everything but due to my troubled childhood, I had left home).  When I told the pastor I worked for about my trip to Kathmandu, he was kind enough to give me a red and white stripped Addidas T-shirt; it was the best gift I had ever received.  With the help of Calvary Church, I joined the camp; that was the first time I visited Kathmandu.  There was one free day and I walked (with friend Jaya Dewan) from Sanepa to all the way to New Road and back on foot because I wanted to discover the place.  The last meeting of the camp was held in Putalisadak Church and the preacher was Pastor Nabin Sunwar.  I was sitting on the left side of the aisles near the back door; may be the second last bench.  The sermon was based upon the life of young Timothy and his call to the ministry.  As the sermon ended and Pastor Nabin gave an alter call to find if there was anyone who would be willing to surrender his life for the work of the ministry.  Long before the alter call, my heart was pounding because the first time I had heard God call me, I had told him that I was a poor man with no ability.  I didn't even know how to speak in Nepali (coming from Doti) and therefore, God should not waste his time on a person like me, and I thought God understood excuses and had left me.  But that night in Putalisadak Church, as Pastor Nabin was preaching, the same voice I had heard some months before when I was praying in the jungle near Dhangadi began to vibrate in my ears.  As the worship leader started the song "I have decided to follow Jesus", I looked around from the back bench to see if anyone was responding but saw no one moving.  The pastor never stopped calling us to be bold and stand up.  A great struggle began to take place within my heart.  One mind told me to stand up and the other told me to be quiet and sit there.  As the pounding of my heart became unbearable, I didn't realize that I was already standing and the leaders had come around me and were praying out loud placing their hands on my head and shoulders.  My Addidas T-shirt was fully wet with sweat but as the meeting ended, I had a new spring in my feet.  I had surrendered my life for whatever God wanted; it was a great relief for me to hand over my life into his hands.  By the time I returned Dhangadi, my life had been radically changed and I had found the purpose of my existence.  I began to share the gospel with anyone and everywhere regardless of the danger of persecution.

While in the student camp, someone had given me a small monetary gift and I was able to buy a new pair of Jeans; and I thought I was a pretty rich guy with a new pair of jeans and an Addidas T-shirt!  Unfortunately when I returned to Dhangadi, the pastor who gave me that T asked me to return it back because it did not match for a poor man like me to wear a branded piece; it was too expensive item for me to wear!  I washed and handed him the T-Shirt.

That is when it hit me that Jesus on purpose began his mission by preaching the good news to the poor.  He came to a person like me, he began his preaching ministry by thinking about people like me and I found myself as the favorite of Jesus.  My poverty, humiliation, and the needs drove me to the feet of Jesus in such a way that I got to discover him from my early life as a believer.  I not only discovered who he was, I also discovered that he loves to meet our needs in amazing ways.  The joy of receiving from God is a thousand fold greater than receiving from man and ever since then, I have always made it a point to ask the donors these two questions; "Do you give me because you feel pity for me as a poor man or do you give me because God has told you to give?"  Early in life I made up my mind to live by faith and dignity than to live in someone's pity. I rather be a door keeper in the house of my God!

After SLC (equivalent of high school diploma), the Lord opened the door for me to teach in a private school (Aisworya Vidhya Niketan, Dhangadi) and discovered that there is a great dignity to earn your own bread and not live on someone's pity.  There is a great sense of security in knowing that you have a steady source of income.  As I continued to teach there, I developed some of the lasting friendships and began to envision a future where I would spend the rest of my life in a teaching profession.  Along with the friends teaching there, we even thought about starting our own private school (one of those friends did begin the school and today it is one of the leading schools in the far west Nepal, Stepping Stone English Secondary School).  With friends and possible future, I had decided to serve the Lord by sharing the gospel in whatever way I can.  

As I was settling down into my little world, God once again rocked my world from the bottom up.  I experienced an amazing filling of the Holy Spirit in one of the nights alone in my room and the little congregation that I was part of was dead against such a thing called baptism of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues.  To make matter worse, the leader claimed the church property and I stood against it, but the power of money is such that the whole church sided with the pastor who captured church property and I was expelled from there.  The matter got even worse for my life because the principal of the school where I was teaching was the member of that little church.  Soon, this Christian Brother from Darjeeling began to look for excuses to punish me for speaking in tongues and opposing the church property capture.  He got the best possible weapon to use against me.  He heard that I had been sharing the gospel with students and fellow teachers.  He found out that I had even handed out Christian literature and armed with those evidences, he called me to his office and gave me two alternatives; either I go to jail for three years for preaching the gospel or leave the school voluntarily without receiving the two months pay that was due (in those days teachers were paid in advance for two months just before the long summer break).  All my dreams came crashing down; I had just taken admission for the university and had rented a room for myself; life was about to get normal for the first time in my 18 years of existence.  All of a sudden I was back into the square one.  Instead of heading to jail for three years, I forfeited my two months salary into the hands of this Christian Brother and opted to quit my job.

As I walked out of that school, I was so mad at God, and even began to doubt whether I had made a mistake of believing.  Because I had begun to see my own future, I had allowed the call of God to go deem from my memory. I had justified my decision by thinking that I am sharing the gospel with as many people as I can.  I wasn't aware that in doing so I had begun to push the vivid call of God at the back of my head.  A year earlier I was so delighted for the call of God in my life and was willing to do anything but a year later; I wasn't sure as what to do with that.  And now, after these bitter experiences, I began to question whether God really cared for me.

Oblivious to my carnal mind, God was working behind the scene.  In one of those days of confusion, I met a Christian brother (Deepak Acharya, those days he was known by the name Bhola) that I had not met for a long time.  Noticing a disturbing spirit within me, he took me to a park (Dhangadi Park was beautiful in those days); we spent a couple of hours together and finally he led me to his pastor's house.  This was the same pastor who had made it possible for me to join the student camp a year earlier but I did not know him personally.  That day when we met Pastor Joseph Shrestha, after Bhola explained my situation, he asked me directly "do you want to serve God?"  Without any hesitation, I said "yes".  Then he said, "We have about 7 members in our church and we cannot give you the salary you had been receiving from the school, but if you want to serve God, we will give you 300 rupees a month (today's equivalent of 4US$).  God will provide the rest if you really want to serve him".  I accepted his offer of 4$ a month and began my full time ministry for the first time in 1987.  This church met in a small hut beside a filthy stream that ran through the town with all its sewage; across the stream was Muslim cemetery and I was told to live there (once a while brother Bhola also lived there).  There were no rooms, it was just about 10x15 feet hut and on the Lord's Day I had to fold my belongings and keep them in one corner so that there was room enough for the seven members to sit and worship. 

The weather in Dhangadi is very hot, it is normal to have above 38 degree Celsius.  On one hot Saturday after worship, everyone had left the church and I was sweeping the dirty floor of the church to set my stuff back again and a sense of self pity came over me.  While I was sweeping the floor, my tears began to fall and I said, "Lord why did you bring me to a place like this, I have no money to buy enough food and I have to live in a hut like this?"  As I asked the Lord that question, I felt as if someone struck me on my right ear, but there was none and soon I heard a deep voice within my spirit saying "didn't you pray to me a year earlier asking for a place to serve me even if it is to sweep the floor?"  That was it; that question brought back all the memory of God calling me into the ministry and for the first time I understood that God hears my prayers; he keeps records of them and in his own timing he answers.  A year earlier, before I started to work in that school as a teacher, I had asked God to provide a place to serve him even if it is through sweeping the floor and here I was doing exactly what I had asked him for me.  Right there in that little hut, all by myself, asked God's forgiveness for feeling like that and God began to reveal to me his intentions of using Christians brothers who would kick me out of their fellowship, a Christian brother who would kick me out of my job so that I would not be so comfortable in the world.  Even my troubled childhood and rejection by family made perfect sense in the sovereign plan of God.  Since that day, there has not been a day of regret in serving the Lord, if there is regret it is because of my own sinfulness and unfaithfulness.  There is regret only in the areas where I wish I had been more in tune with the Spirit of God in dealing with people, in dealing with believers and in dealing with myself.  I wish I walked more in fellowship with the Spirit than walking in the flesh. But there is not a day of regret for entering the ministry, not a day of regret of doing anything for the Lord. 

Early in my life, when in the eyes of one brother I was not fit to wear a branded T-shirt due to my poverty, I saw how the church land and building was captured by the individuals who were the leaders.  When I saw that, I made this promise to God; "Lord if ever I am able to earn or money falls in my hands, before I build my house, I wish to build a house for you".  The Lord has enabled me to fulfill that promise with the birth and growth of Kathmandu Hope Church. 

Even as the Lord brought that wish to fulfillment, there had also been a wish and that is to care for the orphans and the needy.  Every time I see a person in need, it breaks my heart.  And in God's grace, he gave me the kind of wife who is absolutely willing to live on nothing; who is willing to share even when we have nothing left for us.  From the day we married, we remember caring for all kinds of people with the best of our ability.  We have never hesitated to live with zero balance in our bank or pockets because when we were in need, God miraculously provided for our needs.  Seeing a smile in the face of a needy brother or sister is a delight and a reward from the Lord himself.  We praise God for making us his instruments in meeting many people's need over the years in one way or the other.  

But my short stint of ministry with a foreign missionary in 1993 taught me lessons that I find hard to ignore.  The missionary ran an orphanage.  But the condition of the children and the staffs in that orphanage told a different story from what it looked like from the outside.  As I studied many other similar ministries, I found it was a common trend to have orphanage along with the church so that you get to ask for donation easily.  When you present the face of a destitute child, there is no decent human being who would not be willing to part with few dollars for the sake of such a child. 

By observing the methods of the missionary and some other Nepali pastors who ran orphanages along with their churches; it became clear to me that there was the appearance of godliness and charity, but the real motivation for these owners of the orphanages and ministries was to make a good living in the context of caring for the needy.  In such a context, I learned that if I have to obey the word of God in caring for the needy, the orphans and the widows, I must do it by my own means instead of begging for them or in their names.  The local church in Nepal has to learn how to take care of the needy and the orphans on its own without looking for external donations.  Care for the orphans and the widows must be paramount and not the managers' livelihood.  I understood that God would not hold us responsible for not taking care of the needy if we don't have the resources.  He is going to hold us responsible on the basis of our motivation; the condition of the heart matters.  I must be compassionate regardless of whether I get donations or not.  If our church is having a wonderful orphanage with plenty of money flowing from abroad so that many people can get jobs and children can have good future; will that be our church's doing?  Can we say to ourselves "we care for the needy and the orphans and the widows?"  While I am not against receiving the external support for the needs like orphanage, what I am trying to say is that unless I am sacrificing for the needy and the orphans; the Lord will not overlook my responsibility because I am channeling huge donation.  I understood that God does not need me to be an agent of charity, a broker who connects the orphans and the donors and gets commission for doing that.  If I do that, that is not charity; it is a business.  While there is so much good in such business; many children will have better future and many people will get jobs in these poorer countries but in the eyes of God that would not be considered a true religion as James talks about. 

In order to practice the true biblical religion, Nepali Church needs to do the charitable works on its own will and by its own resources.  When the local resources are not enough, then God will speak to the external donors as well, but the real initiative to support the needy must come from the heart of the local church.  They must think of beginning orphanages and elderly homes because of the love of God and the commandment of Jesus Christ to take care of the needy and the weak; it should not be done with the intention of making money as many NGOs and INGOs are doing.

For many years, Hope Church in Kathmandu wanted to begin a place where we would help these needy members, but due to our own limitations, we could not.  Because we could not start a home, we helped our needy members in other ways.  But this year, we have decided to go ahead in taking care of the limited number of needy children by the resources we will generate from our church members.  As we decided to go ahead with this project; the devil has tried hard to stop such a work.  One of our own Christian brothers appears to have been not happy with our approach to ministry because we could not meet his demands, and he threatened to destroy the work as well as the person who would be leading that Children's home.  Through internet, telephone and in person he threatened our leader who was over that project and we had to file for a police protection against his threat.   For the time being he has agreed to stop his threats due to the police pressure, but the Bible is clear that anyone who decides to live godly life will face persecution.  Our church has now really come of age and has decided that it is our duty to look after the poor and the needy with our own resources.  Our leaders have embraced our vision that Charity and mission work is not for profit but it should be done in the spirit of commitment and sacrifice.  It is time for the church in Nepal to re-think some of the mission strategies.  Caring for the needy should not be bait for profit; neither should it be a burden but a delight because God calls us to take care of the needy and the poor.  There is no dignity in poverty and we as believers in the Lord Jesus Christ need to take the word of God seriously and do everything we can to take care of the weak members of our society with a sacrificial love and respect.  Serving God and caring for the needy ought to go hand in hand and with the right motives; with love and compassion and not for greed.