Broken and Contrite Heart

At birth, Jacob was grasping Esau’s heel as if to say “I want to go first”, or “don’t leave me here alone”.  Possibly he wanted to come first but due to his physique and temperament, he could not beat Esau and the only thing he could do was to cling in Esau’s heel so that he won't be left behind.  When their mother, Rebekah, prayed about the struggle that was going on in her womb, God made it clear to her that the one who comes first would serve the one who comes second. Jacob had no idea about that.  All he wanted was to beat his brother so that he can also feel significant and important.  As the brothers grew up to be little boys, the elder one impressed the father while the younger one developed feminine qualities of hanging around his mother’s chores and household activities.  Looking at Jacob’s timidity, mother must have consoled him by talking about God’s plan for his future.  When he imagined his brother serving him, he must have felt good.  But, Jacob wanted to make sure that this plan of God that his mother talked about would surely take place.  His reason told him that such a thing could only happen if he could somehow be declared the first born; after all it was just a matter of brief moment’s difference, he must have thought. 

Though not blessed with great physique, his mind worked very well.  He noticed that often Esau would return from his hunting spree and look for food and drink; sometime furious for not finding anything at home.  Having put his plans to perfection, one day Jacob waited the hairy man to return.  Famished and dehydrated, Esau must have looked for food and drinks and to his frustration; Jacob had made sure he found none.  Seeing the little fellow working on the stove, Esau forced himself into the soup.  But this time, Jacob had decided to put up the fight.  This would be the day Jacob would finally settle the scores unfavorable to him since the day of his birth. 

Hungry and thirsty, Esau didn't care what Jacob was saying.  In the heat of his natural passions, he swore the birthright away to Jacob.  Having secured the birthright, Jacob was now sure to see the day in which he would rule over his brother.  However, the consequences were drastic.  He bid farewell to his beloved mother possibly never to see her again; she meant the world to him but now, fearful and lonely, he uses a stone for his pillow far away at Bethel.  In God’s divine mercy, Jacob is given God’s promise of protection but the man hasn't learned to trust God yet and bribes God with 10% of his income.

Next 14 years are spent in securing wives and children and another 6 for possessions.  These 20 years had taken great toll in his life; he did everything he could imagine in enriching himself but the deceptive methods always backfired; “whatever you sow, so shall you reap” had become a living reality in Jacob’s life; Laban, his own father-in-law, deceived him ten times. 

Having noticed the ill feelings in the face of Laban, Jacob for one last time deceives his father-in-law and runs away with family and possessions.  It took 3 days for Laban to find out what had happened; Jacob had really planned well.  But the danger became apparent when Jacob saw Laban with his men encamping around him.  These Bedouin tribal lords would not spare anyone who they deem to have deceived them regardless of family ties.  Just before Jacob began to feel the fear pangs in his stomach, Laban foolishly spoke out the words God had spoken to him.  Furious and determined to harm Jacob, Laban was commanded by God to shut his mouth against Jacob and say neither good nor bad.

Knowing God was on his side; Jacob takes Laban to task and two men part in peace.  Jacob’s immediate past was behind him now, but the future was doubly dreadful.  For the first time, Jacob began to reflect on his character and yet found that God was watching over him, guiding him, protecting him and defending him even when he was in the wrong side of the road.  The thought of meeting Esau brought back all the memories; memories of good times and bad times, memories of fear and loneliness and sense of missing something that was so dear and near.  Fearful Jacob once again devises a plan in which he hopes to appease Esau’s anger with material things.  As he was counting and allocating his possessions to appease Esau did he come to a sense of awe and wonder for God’s goodness to him.  He remembered how he had to use a stone for his pillow and had one little staff in his hand when he passed through that same path some 20 years before.  But now, he had become a master of two battalions with wives and children; for a Bedouin society, he had become a Sheikh.  Yet, in a matter of a day or so, if his brother Esau, who had become even greater Lord than Jacob, meets him with the same anger that forced him to run away to Padan Aram, all these blessings from God would mean nothing.  The only one who can save Jacob from Esau was the God who saved him from Laban, the God who had promised to bring him back; Jacob bows before God and says, “I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant” (Gen. 32:10).  He realizes how he had cheated his brother, he realizes how he had tricked Laban, and he realizes that in all that he did sprang from his own selfishness and desire to be number one against his brother.  Jacob bows before God in brokenness and genuine repentance.  To make his life more complicated in these agonizing times, God wrestles with Jacob whole night.  As he was wrestling, Jacob must have realized that the person wrestling was not a mere human being; he won't let him go until the blessing is spoken.  The blessing he wanted in his mother’s womb, the blessing he wanted by purchasing the birthright, the blessing he wanted by stealing his brother’s blessings and the blessing he wanted by tricking Laban were all possible now if he could cling to this divine figure until the daybreak.

Tired, disabled, and humbled, Jacob saw his brother approaching him with 400 men.  As a last attempt to surrender his life in the hand of God, Jacob bows seven times to Esau not knowing how his vengeful brother would respond.  He had no idea how Esau had been changed over the years.  Yes, in his fury, Esau had uttered the angry words of revenge but as the time went by, Esau missed his only baby brother and had often wished that he would return so that they both could band together to defend their possessions and territories.  In a Bedouin and nomadic culture, a brother is a precious thing to have by one’s side; especially in times of war and strife with their neighbors.  When Esau heard the news of Jacob’s return, he could not restrain himself and went all the way with his men to bring back his brother.  The first sight of Jacob filled Esau’s heart with compassion; a frail old man, limping and bowing down and begging for forgiveness, seven times.  All his dreams of ruling his brother were now gone; he could not even address him as brother; Jacob calls him “my Lord”.  Jacob before Esau looks a perfect picture of a broken and contrite soul.  As Esau embraces this broken man, the Bible says “And they wept”. Pent-up emotions of the years gone by find their volcanic eruption; a loving embrace from his brother heals this broken man like no other medicine.  Esau typifies the figure of the father and Jacob the lost son in Jesus’s parable of the lost son in Luke 15.  Brokenness attracts God’s mercy and grace more than anything.  Thus, David said, “a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Ps. 51:17).

Do you want God’s embrace?  Come before him with a broken and contrite heart and you will never be disappointed.  Don't feel sorry for yourself because you are miserable in some ways but feel sorry that in all your humanity, you have offended God but this God has not treated you the way your sins deserve.  Rather, he stands at the door and knocks, asking to come and join you; he stands at the podium and asks anyone who is burdened and heavy laden to come and rest in him.  Don't run away from God, run toward him and you will find rest the way Jacob found.