August 10, 2018

Success Without Happiness Is Bill Hybels

Success without a happy life cannot be considered true success.  Jacob Abbott in Alexander the Great (1876) devotes a chapter talking about Alexander’s character flaws that led to his untimely (unhappy) demise.  Having achieved the highest success before reaching 30, Alexander surrendered his life to drinking and beautiful women.  He abandoned the noble qualities that made him great in the beginning and became a reckless person hoping to find happiness in sensual living.  In doing so, he not only destroyed his life, he also left behind him a world in total chaos.  On his deathbed; his generals asked him as who should be his successor.  The great man gave a great answer; “whoever is worthy”.  He knew he had failed to be worthy even to name a successor let alone prepare one.  There went a greatest conqueror but an unhappy man.

Success without a happy life is like sailing in the ocean without water.  You are surrounded by huge body of water but that water cannot quench your thirst; in fact, should you drink it, it will make you thirstier.  Though the water is carrying you along but cannot give life.

Bill Hybels is considered the most successful pastor by far in the world today.  But the man’s life appears to be far from happiness.  In 2012, he and his family were seated on the stage for an interview at an event called “Exponential Conference”.[1]  This was probably his first public interview together with his family even after becoming a world phenomenon for so long.  Once a while he had talked and written about the unhappy state of his marriage, but no one really thought much about that.  He was always riding the waves of success for anyone to notice the unhappiness.  But when Dave Ferguson, the interviewer at that event, asked his wife the first question, she went on and on and on how things were terrible in their marriage and how she was hurting in the inside in silence.  Ferguson had to interrupt her because it was becoming so gloomy a picture of a marriage of such a celebrity pastor.  Children were blushing and husband was visibly shaken.  Finally when Ferguson turned to Bill for his response, Bill struggled to find his composer.  He was dislodged from his seat either by what she said or by the fear that his well-constructed façade might come down.  Anyone who watches that interview can see how this famous man and his wife were living a life that was far from true happiness in the face of tremendous success.

Now in her late 60s, Lynne Hybels writes in her blog, “My husband and I have been married for over four decades.  As with many couples, there were times we couldn’t imagine making it through another year, let alone another decade or two.”[2]  That is a very sad statement for any marriage that has lasted for so long.  Yes, marriage has its fair share of hardships but to go through such marriage year after year would certainly drain any human soul.  She confesses that in her 40s, she even lost all her faith in God and took nearly a decade for her to rediscover the love of Christ.[3]  Writing her last blog post for 2018 in March, she still appears to be at a crossroad; “I’m not sure where this part of the journey will lead, though I do find myself moved to good tears by the beauty of the simple flowers I arrange into assorted vases and by the truth of the simple words delivered via Audible from my favorite spiritual poets.”  She goes on “The shape of this year is still unfolding, but so far it holds little structure, much quiet, a fair bit of play, my favorite people, and an intentional focus on the beauty of nature.”[4] 

It is hard to tell if she knew what was coming her way at that time but by now we can only imagine the kind of sadness she is going through.  We can also imagine the agonies Bill is going through and his children and grandchildren who considered their dad and granddad a great hero.  If you look at the Willow Creek Church campus at South Barrington, Illinois and the worldwide impact it had, if you stack all what Bill has written and spoken, if you talk to people who are impacted by this man’s leadership conferences, you can only imagine the kind of finishing Bill would have.  Sadly the final chapter is looking so gloomy, so unhappy. 

Success (whatever that maybe) alone cannot give us happiness.  You can be happy without success but success without happiness leaves behind a trail of destruction in the same scale of success you were chasing after.  Paul the apostle writes from Roman prison to the Philippian church to be happy in the Lord always.  Compared to Bill Hybels, Paul was a failure but he died a happy man leaving behind a trail of life giving letters.  Paul’s secret of happiness was Jesus Christ, not success.  That has not changed for us either.  Don’t be driven for success but run after Christ and he will quench your thirst once and for all! 

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